WHERE DID THE NAME "AIRSTRIP ONE" COME FROM?

It's the official title for this hole of a country in George Orwell's nightmarish future of the book, "1981". Yep, the UK is fit for nothing else but to be turned into a huge landing strip...

DENYER'S BAND MANIFESTO:

  1. The principle reason for being in a band must be enjoyment and/or personal fulfilment. Persons suffering from delusions of grandeur will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

  2. Practises are not performances; they are not about showing off or competing for volume. Everybody must be able to hear everyone else, otherwise they can't be expected to function as a team or play well. The egotist who won't turn down or shut up can go and hang themselves whilst the rest of us get some work done and act like a proper band.

  3. Practising a new song for the first time, its author should attempt to explain what it's about and what reaction they're hoping to elicit from the audience... if they can't, it's wasted effort.

  4. If the PA is already as loud as it will go, nobody else gets to turn up. They may have to turn down. The audience has not come to hear an evening of instrumentals; nor have the rest of the band.

  5. Instrument solos must have a reason for being included in a song apart from to give the person playing them a public orgasm. They should be short, fast, aggressive, or absent entirely.

  6. Onstage, somebody else introduces the songs, since no-one likes my patter, least of all me. In fact, the only songs which require an introduction at all are our own.

  7. Consideration should be given to the likely condition of vocalists and drummers when designing set lists, and the progression of exhaustion. Songs which require screaming go at the very end.

  8. Nobody has more than four units (two pints) before going onstage, because there's enough distortion without people playing completely different songs to the people around them.

  9. We soundcheck each vocalist separately to adequately setup mikes. We check each guitarists full volume range against whatever monitor amps are used to avoid feedback during the gig. We use monitor amps if we want any decent vocals whatsoever.

  10. In the unlikely event that any member of the band is discovered having sex with a member of the audience after the gig, they do not invite other members of the band to join them.
Ataraxia Short FAQ